Older but important
Beware of apathy—it can be your worst enemy
Source:
Boredom/Wikipedia Commons
Posted Apr 27, 2016
What,
exactly, is apathy anyway? In a sense, it’s something like falling in love.
You can describe it all you want, but until you’ve experienced it, you can only
guess at what it feels like. Paradoxically, what makes the feeling of apathy
unique is that it’s essentially the feeling of not feeling. And
doubtless, it’s something that at some point in your existence you’ve
encountered. We all have. For whenever you feel that something vital is missing
from your life, yet lack the motivation
or drive to pursue it, you’re afflicted with this curiously “emotionless”
emotion.
Through much
psychological research, it’s now accepted science that you must experience
feelings about something if you’re to take personally meaningful action on it.
And without any compelling emotion to direct your behavior—and apathy literally
means “without feeling”—you just aren’t sufficiently stimulated to do
much of anything.
True, apathy
is a feeling—though, like going numb, it’s one so muted or held with such
unrecognizable tension that you may not feel it at all. But it’s also an
attitude. And sadly, that attitude is one of indifference . . . unconcern . . .
unresponsiveness . . . detachment . . . and dispassion. Such an attitude saps
you of so much energy that you feel lethargic, listless, and enervated—almost
too “paralyzed” to act—and certainly without the will to do so. Which is why
apathetic individuals are easily identified by their very passivity.
De-motivated and lacking enthusiasm, their interest in confronting life’s
challenges is seriously compromised. They just don’t care enough. And frankly,
they don’t care that they don’t care.
Unquestionably,
there are times (however short-lived) that we’ve all hit the wall like this. So
let’s look at the various clues—and causes—of apathy, and leave
it up to you to decide on what characterized your own unique “engagement” with
this troubling emotion of non-engagement.
Where Apathy Comes From—and What It Looks Like in (In)action
The focus of this article is on the psychology of apathy: its more
mental causes and cures. But since there can be biological and medical factors
in play as well, let’s briefly enumerate some of its physical or organic causes
It’s been noted (J. Ishizaki & M. Mimura, 2011) that
apathy can occur in such disorders as “schizophrenia,
stroke, Parkinson’s disease, progressive supranuclear palsy, Huntington’s
disease, and dementias such as Alzheimer’s disease, vascular dementia, and
frontotemporal dementia.” In less scholarly fashion, many other writers have
linked its onset, and duration, to problematic lifestyles characterized by sleep deprivation (and
general fatigue), poor diet,
and lack of exercise; or to organic defects, such as a malfunctioning thyroid
gland or limbic system, As regards more psychiatric
diagnoses, it’s also been associated with dysthymia, major depression,
and bipolar
disorder—as well as with the heavy use of certain drugs
(from pain medications, to marijuana,
to heroin).
But independent of etiology, the ultimate consequence of all these
conditions—and others, too—are pretty much the same. That is, for all who
suffer from apathy, what’s lost is the fundamental hope that personal happiness or
fulfillment is possible. Either they’ve ceased to believe in the intrinsic
value of the goals they’d earlier set for themselves, or they’ve lost faith in their ability to
achieve these goals. So they can’t think of anything worth striving for. As a
result the raw mental, physical, or emotional energy for accomplishing what in
the past may have been valued by them disappears. It’s lost, and no- where to
be found. Additionally, although feelings of depression frequently go
hand-in-hand with apathy (and at times are almost indistinguishable from it),
it should be noted that apathy can sometimes occur all by itself.
Here are a
few things that might lead to apathy. See whether you can relate to any of
them:
•
Have you been having negative thoughts about yourself, or your prospects?
Are you afraid to act for fear
that you might fail? be rejected? confirm—once and for all—that you’re
inferior, incompetent, inadequate, worthless? Or is it possible that not
that long ago you actually did experience some failure or rejection—and
because of old, never rectified defeatist “programming,” you haven’t been able
to rebound from it?
•
Did something recently happen to you, or someone you deeply care about, that
has left you not simply disappointed but demoralized, pessimistic—or downright
hopeless? For that matter, have any local, or perhaps global, events left you
feeling cynical, as though whatever you might attempt to do to change
things couldn’t possibly make the slightest difference?
•
Have you become so bored, or worn down, by tedious daily routines that it
seems there’s nothing to look forward to? Without quite realizing it, is there
something inside you that’s simply given up on creating a more joyful,
gratifying future for yourself? Instead of “seizing the day” (or “taking the
bull by the horns”), have you—fatalistically— become resigned to a lifetime of
tedium?
If any of the
causes above explains your apathy, or you can identify other factors
responsible for your non-engaged state of being, it’s likely that you’ll be
able to relate to one, or several, of the descriptors below. And whether this
vaguely distressful state is one you’re feeling right now, or have experienced
in the past, here’s an opportunity to explore which of the following
characterizations resonates for you.
So, can you
recall a time when you:
•
Felt no interest in what, up till now, generated excitement or enthusiasm in
you—such as a project, hobby, sport (whether as participant or observer); or
getting together with a date or friends to watch a movie, listen to a concert,
go to a favorite restaurant, etc.;
•
Couldn’t get yourself motivated in your job or profession: were bored by all
its repetitive tasks or responsibilities, with the result that just showing up
for work felt like an ordeal and your performance was imperiled by your “going
about your business” half-heartedly and with minimal emotional involvement;
•
Wasted time by vegetating in front of the TV, playing video games, or
mindlessly surfing the Internet —knowing full well that there were much better
ways to occupy yourself but, feeling run-down or washed-out, unable to prevent
yourself from frittering away your time;
•
Stopped exercising, but told yourself you simply weren’t up to it—along
with, possibly, indulging yourself with “comfort foods” of very little
nutritional value;
Couldn’t
devote, or commit, yourself to anything—for no goal, pursuit, or
activity seemed worth the effort: you felt overtaken by indifference and ennui
(call it a critical case of the doldrums).If there’s an overarching cause for
apathy, it’s probably pessimism
about your future. And that self-defeating attitude could derive either from
early childhood
programming, which led you to believe that no matter how conscientiously you
applied yourself, you still couldn’t succeed—or, more commonly, a series
of events in your present life that left you feeling you simply couldn’t win
for losing.
So when
you’ve sunk down into the deep pit of apathy, and climbing out seems far too
arduous for the amount of energy at your disposal, what’s to be done? . . .
Quite a lot,
actually—though effecting such an “excavation” is generally a gradual,
multi-step process.
Solutions For
Apathy
Although there are many practical things you can do about your apathy, you
won’t be able to do any of them unless you manage to change your
mind-set. Regardless of what initially caused you to feel so unmotivated, it’s
your present-day outlook on it that now keeps you stuck. Your immediate task,
then, is to alter this outlook. In short, you’re much better off focusing on
how to fix what’s inside your head than what lies outside it.
And no question but that you’ll need to force yourself—yes, force yourself!—to
uproot what’s already taken residence deep inside you.
So ask yourself: “Am I willing to make a commitment to myself to give this
apathy the fight of its life, even though doing so feels like it will take a
lot more energy and effort than I’m now capable of?” Remember, if your languor
continues indefinitely, its repercussions can be enormous. You can’t possibly
live life to the fullest—be happy, fulfilled, or content—if you give up
actively pursuing your goals and desires. In addition, failing to act can lower
your self-esteem,
and eventuate in such distressing feelings as worthlessness, guilt or shame.
Here are some solutions to consider:
Determine
where your apathy is coming from, and contest its underlying assumptions. Since apathy
is fundamentally about attitude, begin to look at yourself and your history
from a different perspective. And that’s one in which you offer yourself
greater compassion, empathy, and understanding—and possibly
forgiveness
for any past insensitivities, transgressions, or shortcomings. If you’ve come
to identify yourself as simply lazy or unmotivated, can you now regard yourself
as most likely immobilized by irrational doubts and fears, especially about
failure? It’s time to move beyond whatever negative messages you received about
yourself in the past and realize that, as long as you don’t set your sights
unrealistically high and are willing to apply yourself diligently to whatever
is important to you, your success is virtually guaranteed.
Transition
from passivity to problem-solving. What can you do right now to move
beyond your mental or emotional inertia? What’s the easiest, most do-able first
step you can take to pull yourself out of the torpor you’ve slid into? This is
a time to brainstorm: to make a list of what isn’t working for you and what
could make your situation better. And if your particular circumstances aren’t
susceptible to change, can you accept them for what they are, get over them—and
move on? The crucial thing here is simply to get unstuck from what’s left you
in this state of suspended animation.
Inject some
novelty into your routine. Routines can become dull and tiresome, so find ways of breaking loose from
them. Maybe challenge yourself to initiate a conversation with someone at work
you don’t know very well. Or change your exercise regimen—when, where, or with
whom you work out; or what exercises you typically perform. Or make some
changes in your diet, trying out new dishes or food combinations. Go on a trip,
take a long walk in nature.
Maybe consider applying for a new job, or going back to school to pursue an
interest you’d forgotten about or earlier dismissed as impractical. And so on,
and so on. Whatever might give you a new lease on life is well worth your
consideration.
Challenge
your apathy in every way you can. What turned you on before you were beset with
your present malaise? Any friends you’ve lost track of, but always enjoyed
talking to—especially if they made you laugh? Any particular
music you found appealing, maybe even tapped your feet to? places that inspired
you, whether art galleries, botanical gardens, concert halls, sporting events,
etc.? Though in your quandary, engaging in such activities might not engender
the same excitement it once did, the more things you try, the more likely
you’ll eventually be able to extricate yourself from the binding chains of your
apathy.
Recall—and
reawaken—happier times when you felt more enthusiastic and alive. What hobbies
or leisure-time activities might you once have engaged in that you found
exhilarating?—drawing? painting? reading? doing crossword puzzles? making
music? dancing? designing? gardening?—even, well, blowing bubbles. It hardly
matters what delighted you in the past. Anything at all will do here. I
once published a post for Psychology Today called “The Purpose of Purposelessness,” which
argued that so-called “purposeless” activity serves the essential purpose of
reawakening you to the simple joys life has to offer—apart from their
“practicality.”
Direct your
attention to a goal you might pursue right now. Considering
your values, aptitudes, and preferences, choose whatever goal might best
capture your attention and interest, and help you creatively re-engage with
life. Even if it means arbitrarily selecting among three or four things you
considered in the past, don’t let yourself anguish. Choose something right now.
You can always change your mind later on. What’s imperative is that you lift
yourself out of your current morass. But don’t choose anything so complex that
just thinking about it makes you feel overwhelmed. Given your present lethargy,
you don’t want to make starting a new venture daunting, but as easy as
possible. And whatever you select, you can always divvy it up into easily
implemented parts.
See a
professional therapist. If, after working with the above suggestions, you’re still unable to
escape your apathy, chances are you’re suffering from a deeper, underlying
depression. And for this, you probably need to get yourself into counseling. I
can hardly over-emphasize that what you can’t do on your own could be greatly
facilitated by enlisting the assistance of someone who can understand the
dynamics of your dilemma—and offer viable ways for you to overcome it.
Some Helpful References
Davenport,
Barnie, “10 Ways to Snap Out of Apathy” (http://liveboldandbloom.com/06/self-improvement/snap-out-of-apathy).
“How to Stop
Being Apathetic” (http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Being-Apathetic).
Radwan, M.
Farouk, “What Causes Apathy and How to Deal With It” (http://www.2knowmyself.com/what_causes_apathy).
Young, Scott,
“How to Overcome Apathy (If You Can Be Bothered . . .” (http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-overcome-apathy-if-you-can-be-bo...).
NOTE 1: If you could
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NOTE 2: To check out
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© 2016 Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved.
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