What happens when a sex therapist visits a women-only Parkinson’s support group? A frank exchange about “redefining sexuality”, recalls Sharon Krischer AKA ‘Twitchy Woman’
Recently, psychologist
and certified sex therapist, Dr Beth Leedham, spoke to our women’s support
group about sex. A women-only environment allowed for an honest discussion
about issues relating to Parkinson’s and our sexual behaviour.
According to Dr Leedham,
most doctors and therapists are not comfortable about talking about it, and
their patients are not comfortable talking about it, so no one talks about it.
There is very little
research about women with Parkinson’s and sexuality. She started with an old
survey, from 1992. The question was: “Over the last 12 months have you…?”
And the results: 43% of
women and 31% of men reported having sexual dysfunction. The rate is higher in
populations with mental or physical health issues. So this is a very common
issue among all adults.
In a study of women with
Parkinson’s, the most common difficulty is getting aroused (*87.5%).
Parkinson’s affects the autonomic nervous system, and that is the system
responsible for arousal. Others include difficulty reaching orgasm (75%) and
dyspareunia or painful sex (12.5%).
Some of the causes: motor
changes, bladder changes, cognitive changes, differences communicating emotion,
sleep disturbance, depression, changes in self-esteem and body image,
medication side effects and on and on.
“Most doctors and
therapists are not comfortable about talking about it”
Sexuality statistics
(Taken from a study in
1992)
43% of women and 31% of
men with Parkinson’s reported experiencing sexual dysfunction
87.5% of women with
Parkinson’s have difficulty is getting aroused Parkinson’s
75% have difficulty
reaching orgasm
12.5% experience
dyspareunia or painful intercourse
Was it “meh” for you too?
In addition, the normal
issues related to aging can cause problems. Decrease of oestrogen and
testosterone with menopause, vaginal tissues become thinner, decrease in
lubrication. Men have aging issues too. So sexual dysfunction increases among
all men and women as they age. The prevalence of sexual dysfunction among women
with Parkinson’s is slightly higher than that of post-menopausal women. So is
the problem due to aging or is it due to Parkinson’s?
In many cases changes in
long-term relationships because of the condition can cause conflicts for both
the person with Parkinson’s and the partner. Sometimes, the partner experiences
‘well-spouse’ stress. ‘Enmeshment’, or unwelcome intimacies (closeness
that is too close) can occur after a diagnosis. The well spouse may feel
solely responsible for the partner with Parkinson’s.
The number one issue,
however, is differences in desire between the two partners. Some of the
issues are due to the aging of both partners, some are because of Parkinson’s
and some are because of differences in expectations. We forget that we are not
20 years old anymore and that we experience things differently now. It is ok
to negotiate and change things. Fix the causes that can be fixed.
Accommodate for aging.
Address relationship issues. Take risks and try new things. Look at it as an
opportunity to redefine and reclaim sexuality and eroticism.
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