Connolly, pictured with close friend Robin Williams, says he would not have talked him out of suicide. |
The actor and comedian said he was prone to black moods when he thinks about how bad the symptoms of his condition could get.
The stand-up was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in 2013, just weeks before he had successful surgery for prostate cancer.
Read more: Billy Connolly opens up about Parkinson's disease as he accepts award from Dustin Hoffman
Connolly, 73, said he now struggles to get out of bed some days because he is in so much pain and is unable to play his beloved banjo.
He has taken to meditating to relieve bouts of depression and said he is still hopeful a cure can be found for the illness.
The comic was asked in a US radio interview whether he had considered “checking out” on his own terms.
He replied: “Yeah, sometimes I give it a bit of thought when I’m in bed.
“I think, ‘Well this is forever, this isn’t going to get better, it’s going to get worse’.
“But then I try and change my mind and I try and meditate and move away from it sideways.
“The guy who told me I had it said to me ‘You realise it’s incurable?’ I thought he could have said ‘We have yet to find a cure’ or something like that to put a bit of light at the end of the tunnel.”
He added: “I’m okay at the moment but it comes and goes.
"Sometimes I have trouble getting out of bed and I walk sort of strangely.
“Turning over in bed is difficult. Turning from one side to the other can be quite a complicated manoeuvre.
“The body isn’t responding sometimes but it is quite interesting as the body changes.
“I have started to drool as well, that’s a nice thing. That’s going to make me really attractive.”
Williams committed suicide in August 2014 after being diagnosed with Parkinson’s.
Connolly said he would not have talked his close friend out of taking his own life if he had known he was contemplating it.
He said: “I wouldn’t have done anything. You have to give a guy the position that he is wise enough to make up his own mind.
“He started to phone me to tell me that he loved me and he did it for a while and then he was gone. My wife, who is a psychologist, said that was him saying goodbye. It was very weird.”
Despite his health troubles, Connolly is set to embark on three live stand-up shows in America.
He plays the Beacon Theatre in New York next Wednesday followed by dates in Washington DC and Boston.
The Big Yin also said he is now learning to play the harmonica to replace the banjo.
He said: “My breathing is okay. I’m learning to play the harmonica, I’m pretty c*** but I’m getting there.
“I was a banjo player but the Parkinson’s has f***** it. My left hand doesn’t work properly.
“I also don’t move as much on stage as I did. I stand kind of still.”
Last week, Connolly’s wife Pamela Stephenson said his diagnosis had come as a great shock and told how movie star Michael J Fox had become a role model for him.
Fox, 54, who starred as Marty McFly in Back to the Future, was diagnosed with the degenerative disease in 1991 and went public in 1998.
He set up the Michael J Fox Foundation to speak up for sufferers and fund research into the incurable illness.
Billy's wife, Pamela, has said he is determined to carry on.
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/billy-connolly-thought-suicide-after-7814421#Vqsx2eliUpPIHAJG.97
|
No comments:
Post a Comment