Kiri and Sky Elworthy. Sky was diagnosed with Parkinson's when he was 39.
Kiri and James (known as Sky) Elworthy are both 49 and have been married for 25 years. They have four children aged between 18-28. James, who has Parkinson's disease, has run an 850ha sheep/beef farm near Martinborough since 1993 while Kiri is the co-owner of the Tora Coastal Walk.
KIRI: I grew up near Riversdale, not too far from Sky, but somehow we never met. I went to Lincoln University but at the end of my first year got pregnant with my daughter Margot. I moved home and when she was 6 months old, we moved to Wellington so I could complete a BA. Flatting, studying and being a single mother was challenging, but everyone was so supportive I started an MA in Museum Studies.
About halfway through, I went to a 21st in Gladstone that Sky had crashed. He was tall and good-looking and I was like: "OMG who is that guy?" I was gutted he was with a beautiful woman but was so relieved when I found out she was his sister. One of his friends told Sky not to go near me because I had a kid! Thankfully he ignored that advice and it was fireworks between us from the start; I know love at first sight is a cliche, but that's how it was with us.
Within two weeks, we were joined at the hip. We married a year later and three children soon followed. We had the total privilege of bringing up our kids in a beautiful rural environment. My mother-in-law started the Tora Walk in 1995 and I took it over from her four years later. At the beginning, it was manageable with young kids and a farm, because we weren't fully booked. Now we get thousands of walkers every season.
When Sky was diagnosed with Parkinson's 10 years ago, it was a real shock. We had a perfect life – great kids, jobs we loved and a fantastic relationship. But everyone has their challenges and this is ours. Sky now has a facial twitch which can be hard for him to manage and sometimes it makes him less social than he was. We got kicked out of a Wellington bar recently because they thought he was intoxicated and wouldn't believe he had a medical condition.
But Sky is incredibly determined and he'll never give up. He manages to stay positive, although we run a tag-team so if he's down I'll be upbeat and vice versa. He underwent deep brain surgery in July and so far we're really pleased with the progress. It's looking like he'll have some great results in the long run.
As we've gotten older, we've learnt not to sweat the small stuff. Before, we would have had a huge barney but now we let it go. One of the biggest arguments we've ever had was over Sky's many books. I'm a neat freak and got angry about his mess so started throwing them at him. Eventually he tidied them up and now we can laugh about it.
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| "It's been a tough 10 years but it's made Kiri and I a lot more honest and forgiving of each other," says Sky. |
SKY: I'm the second oldest of four children, born into a farming family. After school I did a bit of shepherding, then went to Massey, where I discovered females!
I spent a bit of time driving around Australia and working on dairy farms, but when Mum rang to say they'd bought the farm next door and could I run it for them, I came home. I lived on my own in the farmhouse, which soon became party central.
In 1994, my sister Cecil asked me to come to a 21st with her. I didn't know the people but tagged along. I met Kiri at the bar and we started talking. She laughed at all my jokes and was easy on the eye, with this amazing lion's mane of hair. She'll hate me for saying this, but at the time I thought: "I'll have a crack at that one!"
Kiri told me she had a 3-year-old daughter from a previous relationship which didn't bother me at all. I knew straight away that she was the one – it just felt right being with her.
After that, we'd spend most weekends together and a one night during the week. We'd also write each other old-fashioned love letters.
We moved in together less than a year after meeting and got married soon after. We both wanted kids and Kiri is a great mother. She's also incredibly loyal and funny. In fact, the worst thing I can say about her is that she spends hours in the shower washing that mane of hair I was so attracted to! We only have one bathroom so it can take forever to get in there.
I got Parkinson's when I was 39, which has meant some rough times. It started as a tremor one day and never really stopped. It affects my mobility, so even walking a few paces can feel like dragging myself through a bowl of porridge. I'm still a sole operator on our farm, but my sons Guy and Rupert help me out a lot.
It's early days, but so far the deep brain surgery has helped with my facial twitch and general mobility. It also means I can reduce my medication, which is great. It's been a tough 10 years but some good has come out of the bad: it's made Kiri and I a lot more honest and forgiving of each other and also brought the family closer. We all spend a lot more time together these days.
Kiri and I have always been able to laugh about stuff and that's been one of the things that makes our relationship work. We've also learned to let things go and forgive, because life's too short to hold onto grudges and arguments.
https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/love-sex/115896102/kiri-and-sky-everyone-has-their-challenges-and-parkinsons-is-ours
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